Exposing & Evicting Shame is necessary for peace, clarity, and joy. Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self, withdrawal motivations and feeling of distress, exposures, mistrust, powerless, and worthlessness. Shame as defined by Wikipedia. An article in Psychology Today, defines shame: A concealed, contagious, and dangerous emotion. The article further goes on to say it is an internal state of inadequacy, dishonor, or regret. Shame can be brought on by what others or circumstances say about or do to us. Circumstance and what others say is one part, the other culprit is coping internally with failure. Guilt is not the same as Shame. Guilt is an emotional experience that results from a wrongdoing or action taken. Shame is attached to a person’s identity and guilt is attached to a person’s actions.
Most of us are no strangers to shame in one form or another. This emotion of shame is very destructive and demeaning to the esteem. Shame is a hidden emotion, that desperately camouflages itself. Shame affects individuals on several levels. Christian are not immune to shame. An individual can be publicly or privately shamed. It can be done by people dear to us or complete strangers. The essence of shame has historically been with mankind from the beginning. We can trace shame back to Genesis 3 when Adam and Eve realized they were both naked.
Exposing & Evicting Shame: Shame has a purpose
Many don’t address the presence of shame. Shame leaves an open access point for the enemy to do sneak attacks. Remember it is Satan purpose is to keep us from walking in our Divine destiny. Satan job is to rob, steal and destroy. If able to convince individuals to wrongly characterize themselves, he has done his job. He robs us of our identity by allowing the perceptions of shame to be more relevant than who GOD created us to be. He steals our authority, constantly searching a false inadequate self-worth persona. A persona refusing to allow the forgiveness of past hurts. Past hurts are embraced by shame. Shame hinders growth. Hinders growth, permits destruction of our divine destiny. A destiny people spend countless years trying to undo, fix, or justify past error. A misaligned destiny causes us to miss out on what beautiful, empowering things are waiting ahead.
Exposing & Evicting Shame: grounds of walking in Shame
- Poor financial condition – poverty, financial instability
- Sexual Past – rape, molestation, excessive sexual activity
- Addictions – anything we do in excess
- Past Relationship – abusive – verbal, emotional, physical. Intimate, siblings, parents,
- Body type, scars, disabilities – unhappy with appearance
- Word attachments by others – people speaking and perceiving falsely
- Childhood – environment and memories
Exposing & Evicting Shame: Identifying Shame
Shame is a hidden internal emotion that masquerades itself in external outcomes. It surfaces in the form of negative behaviors and/or feelings. Shame is a negative emotion causing stagnation, backwardness and the blame game. Shame is a feeder. It causes the unconscious mind to link every event where there was shame. It like a snowball it continues to grow until heat is applied and is melted away.
Below are some of behaviors that indicate shame may be present
- Procrastination – habitual never wanting to complete a task
- Depression – constant state of sadness, loneliness, isolation, & moody
- Addictions – over excessive behavior
- Low self-esteem – don’t see self- worth or value
- Lack motivation – detached
- Negative self-talk – very little good to say about self
- Constant frustration – easily frustrated and impatient
- Fright & fear – fear of being discovered & exposed
- Mentally beaten down – mentally worn out and discouraged
- Weighted down – feelings of can’t do or make things right
- Mistrust & doubt – feel people have ulterior motives
- Inability to have orgasms – ouch!!
Exposing & Evicting Shame: Effects of Shame
Shame can lead to long term social, professional and sexual difficulty. The duty of Shame is to demoralize. It has no cultural, environmental, or geographic boundaries. It has the capacity to affects the influencers, the affluent, the poor, the kind-heart, the bad personality. taking all and anyone hostage.
- Focuses on what we don’t have – very ungrateful
- Create a false identity – pretend to be something we are not to protect our self
- Self-pity – blame everyone
- Pride – over compensate for the lack of
- Overly judgmental – critical of self and others
- Rejections – sense of not belonging
- Abandonment – outcast
- Instability – life is like a roller-coaster
- Lack confidence in decision -making – constant mind changing behavior
- Lack of sensitivity – hide or inappropriate emotional behavior
- Unable to forgiveness – need to constantly pound the nail in self or others- reminder
Listed below are qualities that may develop due to shame
As we read the lists from above, it is easy to see how shame hides itself. Shame comes with clusters of other entities/spirits. Shame is like an identical twin to those things listed above. Many times, only one area is addressed, and shame is left intact. There is no magic pill or wand that will it away in an instant. Overcoming shame is a process which can take years. However, as we begin the journey of evicting shame, we will have small victories and wins. Shame is an entity/spirit that must not be ignored, it is damaging to our success. Healing from shame requires honesty, looking at our nakedness, desiring change, and willingness to be challenged. Shames desire that we never find our truth, our identity, our purpose. Don’t be ashamed to deal with shame. We have the authority to confront shame and be set free.
Exposing & Evicting Shame: Evicting Shame
Evicting shame means letting the past be the past. Shame focuses on what we did wrong, we serve a forgiving GOD. It is a voice that we have the power to silence. Shame works in the dark bring it to the light and deal with it.
- Forgive – our self and others- we make mistakes
- Mind Renewal – people change over the years, even our self
- Let go of the hostages – our self and others. The past is the past it cannot change
- Publicly confess our shame
- Revisit our past/childhood
- Have a funeral for those things that caused shame
- Be conscious and stop negative self -talk and thoughts
- Deal with issues as they arise don’t let them compile
- Talk to someone
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Waiting on GOD for Financial Breakthrough – Dealing with Shame
As Christians, GOD desires to cleanse us from shame. Hebrew 10:22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
The scriptures tell us to be ashamed of the bad things we do, however GOD does not want us to live a life of shame but to confess our wrongdoings, sins, change our ways, and turn to Him. GOD has a plan for us it is for good and not to harm us, Jerm. 29:11. He has called us I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14. It is GOD desire that we attain our divine destiny and that we see ourselves as a light that represents Him.